


Lost In Memory

by Darkness4Light



Category: Glee
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-27
Updated: 2014-09-27
Packaged: 2018-02-18 22:21:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2364143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkness4Light/pseuds/Darkness4Light
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Kurt Hummel has lost things n his life, things he'll never get back and when he loses the one thing he never thought he'd say goodbye to, his life derails; but is everything really what it seems?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS: mentioned OC (there is no Karofsky here but there is someone), mentioned character death, mentioned canon character death (Finn), TW: Cutting/self mutilation, abuse, trauma, memory loss, hurt/comfort. Hey but don't let those stop you reading!
> 
> This was inspired by Maroon 5's Not Falling apart. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fof_kPdkuqY

Kurt swung his hips to the beat, losing himself to its rhythm, blind to the stares and whispers he got.  
A hand slithered across his waist and he opened his eyes to smile at his newest dance partner. He didn’t know him, he never did.   
Kurt giggled as the door banged loudly and shushed it as he closed it behind him.  
“Kurt?”  
“Oh no, she’s awake.” He hissed to the pot plant and glared as Rachel swept into the room, dressed in her silk pyjamas and tugging her robe around her, evidently waiting up for him again.  
“Oh Kurt, not again.” She whined and he held up a hand.  
“Not now, Rachel.”  
“Kurt please stop doing this to yourself. I know you miss him. I know how it feels. Finn and Blaine were our people and we lost them but this is unhealthy.” She begged, her hand unconsciously going to her Finn necklace she only wore when she was really upset.  
“We all grieve in different ways, Rachel.” He replied, walking into the kitchen for some water.  
“Kurt you grieved at the funeral, you grieved when you came to Hollywood and didn’t leave my apartment for a month. This is not grieving, this is…this is sick!”  
Kurt turned, his eyes red. “Don’t you dare judge me Miss-dated-a-hooker. I’ll live my life however I like.”  
Rachel sighed and started pleading again. “Kurt do you think Blaine would want to see you this way? Working yourself into the ground by day and drunk, sleeping around and,” she leant in and sniffed his clothes. “High at night? Kurt!”  
“Don’t. This is all I have left.” Kurt growled, fishing under his shirt and pulling out the chain, the rings that had once wrapped around his and Blaine’s fingers dangling from it.” He stalked out of the room and slammed the door.  
Rachel stormed into the hallway. “And you know what I have left of Finn? You! Don’t make me lose you too!” She screeched and ran to her room, slamming the door.  
She rested against the door, running her thumb over her necklace and looked up. "What do I do with him?”  
Kurt rested his head against the door where he’d sunk to the ground and looked up, tears running down his face. “I wish you’d stayed.”

 

Kurt really should have seen it coming.  
Before Blaine and Kurt had met, Blaine had been a cutter. He’d cut to ease the pain, the stress, the anger at how unfair life could be to him. It was something Kurt himself could understand. He’d drawn lines on his skin but before he’d truly hurt himself Burt had stepped in and taken him to a psychiatrist. Blaine’s parents never noticed.  
Gradually, though his life at Dalton and his friendship – and then relationship – with Kurt, his urges had waned and until he’d cheated he’d been fine. He’d cut once or twice after that but Sam had noticed, then right before they got back together he’d been so close that he’d rung Kurt in tears and Kurt had to be reminded he could either eat or fly home, so they’d skyped and he’d brought Blaine back from his precipice. Since then he’d been better and no more lines fell on his tanned skin.  
That was, until one dark night, with pressure and finals and an increasingly stressful workload, Blaine finally succumbed.  
He’d been out with Sam, catching up about life in Lima when the call had come through.  
He was sent straight to the ER waiting room where Rachel was pacing, tears flowing down her face. He ran up to her and grabbed her arms, his voice shaking as he’d asked what had happened.  
“I-I found him in the bathroom. He-There was blood everywhere Kurt. I thought he was okay! This wasn’t supposed to happen!”  
The doctor had come out then and asked which one of them as the young man’s fiancé. When Kurt had stepped forward the doctor had sighed. “We’re doing all we can for him, Mr Hummel. He doesn’t seem to have wanted to kill himself, he just hit an artery. We’re trying but…there’s only so much we can do.”  
“Please, save him. He’s all I have.” He’ gasped out, his voice thick with tears.  
“We’ll do our best. The best thing you can do is go home and try to sleep.”  
The next morning he was met by the same doctor who’d shaken his head and said he was sorry, though his eyes had slid away while he did it. Kurt had gasped and crashed back into the wall. His future was over. When Rachel had asked about the body they’d been told it had been released into Mr and Mrs Anderson’s custody. They’d apparently been at the hospital the night before too and as Blaine was their son, they had more right than Kurt did.  
They’d refused to have a funeral, or one that Kurt and his friends could attend when they’d finally answered his call. In the end they’d had their own memorial at the Hummel-Hudson house with the New Directions, a couple of the Warbler friends he and Blaine had had at Dalton, Sebastian and their New York friends all crammed into the house.  
Kurt had quit NYADA, unable to walk the halls without the ghost of his beautiful fiancé walking it with him. Some of Blaine’s effects that he’d had on him that night were returned to Kurt along with the things already in the apartment and everything but the ring had been stored in boxes in the Hummel-Hudson attic, alongside Finn’s things. He’d gone to LA with Rachel when she’d gone back, hiding in his room and living on takeaway and alcohol.  
It was after a vivid dream about the night with Blaine playing Piano Man and Kurt standing on a table that made him drag himself out of his pit and start to rebuild.  
He’d taken Isabelle’s offer of a job at Vogue LA up and started going for auditions. He and Cooper had become friends and his life started to gain meaning again.  
He wasn’t perfect, though and went out far too much, trying to dull the pain of a life without Blaine. His heart had become a hardened shell, never to beat again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Same warnings as previous

“Do you know how long it’s been since we visited Lima?” Rachel asked as they walked down the street.  
“Two years.” He replied dully. None of them, their friends, had ever gone back to Lima. They had no reason to, and now had two very good reasons not to go. It hurt too much. The memories of two sweet, amazing young men were too hard and it started at Lima city limits and didn’t stop until far away. It had been Sam’s favourite thing to say for a while when he’d been asked why he’d left. He’d joined Mercedes and worked as a roadie or just helped her out when she was on the road and did voiceovers as a job. The ones who had graduated with Blaine were still in college and those in Kurt and Rachel’s year had jobs, lives far from Lima and its memories. Parents had moved, friends had left, lives were lived.  
“Maybe we should go back.” She mused, breaking him out of his thoughts.  
“Why?” He asked, looking at her in shock.  
“Maybe I want to go see Finn’s tree, and Puck’s going. I say road trip.” She replied a little defensively and for some reason, he found himself agreeing.

 

Sam was right; the pain did start at Lima city limits. Kurt could slowly feel the oppressive air of the place he’d grown up close in on him. All the pain, the loss piled up. They drive past McKinley and he had the irrational desire to flip off the building that held so many terrible memories alongside so many good. Blaine walking up to him the day he transferred, all boat shoes and dreamboat hair flashed into his memory and he bit his lip so hard he tasted blood.  
They turn onto Whitman Avenue and Burt waves from the driveway. He’s out of the door as soon as Puck has the car in park and the warm safety of his dad’s arms breaks him open. All the years have changed nothing. He’s still the young man that needs his dad, he still loves and hates this place with equal measure, this house will always be home because his dad and the memories of a life live here, he still loves the brother he lost and he’s still the man who lost his soul mate and misses him, needs him still.  
Carole makes the three of them dinner and they talk over their plans. Burt and Carole don’t spend much time in Lima any more. They flit between Washington DC, LA and Lima as they need to.  
“So tomorrow you’ll go to McKinley?” Burt asks and they nod.  
“Sue Sylvester is still Principal so she’s letting us go over and hang out, see Finn’s tree. Then we’re going to the Lima Bean for some coffee, Breadstix later.” Puck says after he’s swallowed his bite of steak and Burt nods.  
“Will you be going to Dalton at all?”  
“I don’t know why I’d want to do that.” Kurt says airily and raises his chin when Burt glares at him.  
“Why do you have to act like you’re above it all? Kurt you’re going to Finn’s tree why not go to see where you and Blaine-“  
“Because I’m not okay with this Dad! I’m not like you and Rachel and everyone else! I can’t let go of what happened, okay? I was supposed to be married by now but I’m not and all I want to do is go home but I can’t because my home was Blaine and he’s dead, Dad. He’s as dead as mom and Finn and Pavarotti and I couldn’t help him, Dad. I still have a voicemail from him. He rang me as he lay there on the floor and I didn’t get to it because he’d changed the settings on my phone and accidentally put silent mode on. That’s my last memory of him, dad. Begging for me. So I’m sorry if I can’t be okay with this!” Kurt yelled and finally fled the room, thundering up the stairs and slammed the door.  
“I-I’m sorry. I’ll go see if he’s okay.” Rachel whispered but Burt stopped her.  
“No, leave him be. He never told me Blaine had rung him, did you know?”  
Rachel shook her head. “No. I saw Blaine’s phone by his side but didn’t know he’d rung Kurt.  
Puck put his head in his hands and Burt sat back, thinking while Rachel and Carole silently gathered the plates and washed up.

 

“Here it is, still got that ‘Quarterback’ etched into it.”  
“Sweet. Grown nicely though.” Puck chimes, smiling as their ex-teacher and enemy waved her hand at it.  
“Oh Finn, if you could see us today.” Rachel says wistfully and kneels down to wipe at the plaque with a cloth she’d brought.  
“What’s wrong with Porcelain?” Sue asked, motioning to Kurt who was stood a few metres away.  
“Still not over Blaine.” Puck grunted and the older woman nodded.  
“Don’t blame him, honestly. Knowing life would be different with him around must truly suck. Gel-head was pretty hot too. Nice ass on him.”  
Puck snorted, Rachel giggled and a few metres away Kurt rolled his eyes and walked away.  
The bell tinkled in the same way over the door as they walked through the door of the Lima Bean a couple of hours later and Kurt cringed inside as he saw the table that he and Blaine had said their first ‘I love yous’ at. It was empty and Rachel squeezed his hand as she saw him looking.  
There was a young man bundled up in a thick coat a few people ahead of them at the counter and Puck squinted at the head of dark curls. “Is that…naw it couldn’t be.”  
“Who?” Rachel asked then get out a tiny gasp as the man who’d paid walked past them quickly and out of the door.  
“I’m insane.” Puck drawled and Kurt smirked.  
“We knew that.”

Kurt sighed as he changed. They’d spent a few hours at the Lima Bean, chatting and remembering their high school years and Kurt’ fingers had trailed over the table as they’d left, the memory forever etched into his psyche. He’d had enough of living the past. It was night-time and it was time to kill some brain cells.  
“Where are you going?” Burt called as he left and Kurt grabbed his coat off the hook. Dinner had been quiet this evening. Another melt down temporarily avoided for the benefit of being in public as they’d eaten in silence, his dad and Rachel’s eyes barely leaving him all evening.  
“Out.” He called back and let the door slam behind him.   
The drive didn’t take long and soon Kurt was walking through the door of Scandals, his real ID flashed at the bouncer, tamping down memories of a night with fake ones.  
He slinked up to the bar and ordered a Margherita then turned and looked over the dance floor, settling in to sip and see where the night took him.  
“Well what have we…Hummel?” A familiar voice spoke from next to him and he looked over to see a slightly stunned-looking Sebastian. “What are you doing here?”  
I came back with Rachel and Puck for a visit. They wanted to see Finn’s tree and spend some time trying to drag me through my past to see if it made me completely lose my mind.” He snorted and Sebastian made a sympathetic noise.  
“I came back to see my parentals, they have their anniversary this weekend.”  
“Congratulations.” He held up his glass in a toast and smiled as Sebastian chinked his own to his.  
“Meh, they hate each other. It’s funny how little things change here, hm? I assume you haven’t been to the big D?”  
Kurt shook his head. “Not planning on it either. I have some self-preservation.”  
“I hear that,” Sebastian drawled but then looked at him seriously. “There’s some weird stuff going on though, I keep seeing things.”  
“Off your anti-psychotic meds again, Smythe?”  
“Shut up. I’m serious. I saw something the other day, then when I was in Bellefontaine I saw the Andersons and they practically ran away, like he power walked and dragged her along.”  
The colour drained from Kurt’s face and he remembered Puck’s little moment in the coffee shop and Rachel’s gasp. “What are you saying?” He asked, dread curling in his gut.  
“I’m saying that you never saw a body and the Andersons are hiding something.” Sebastian said, his eyes wide and worried.

The next few days were weird. Puck would come back shaking his head and muttering, Rachel would barely speak and Sebastian kept sending him blurry images of young men from the side or back with curly black hair.  
Finally he snapped and dragged Puck out of the house to meet Sebastian at Dalton.  
They walked through the hallways, remembering the times Kurt had been here, walking them with Blaine and the proposal. When he saw the staircase he’d nearly cried.  
“So why are we here?” Puck asked.  
Kurt sighed then froze. “I think I’m seeing ghosts.”  
“Wha-Kurt wait!” Puck called as Kurt ran down the stairs. He followed then stepped backwards when he saw who Kurt had seen. In a black suit, walking past the spiral staircase, was Blaine Anderson.


	3. Chapter 3

Kurt got to the bottom and asked. “Blaine?”  
The man turned around and looked at him, a blank, slightly awed look on his face. It was the same look he’d given all those years ago on the staircase and it made Kurt suck in a breath. “Can I help you?” Blaine asked, his deep voice open and neutral. Kurt started to speak but before he could get anything out Puck, who’d gotten to the bottom of the stairs by then, spoke.  
“Dude, it’s Puck and Kurt, don’t you remember us?”  
Blaine’s face turned sad and he shook his head slightly. “No, sorry. I had an accident a few years ago and I don’t remember much anymore.”  
At those words the bottom dropped once again out of Kurt’s world and the fate that had laughed at him once, seemed loud in his ear once again, guffawing at his one chance, ripped away.  
“But we were friends, you and Kurt were-“  
“Puck let’s go.” Kurt cut him off and walked away, ignoring Blaine’s call. He faintly heard Sebastian but he couldn’t stop. He wouldn’t cry in front of Blaine again.

 

Rachel was at the kitchen table, mindlessly flicking her phone so it twirled across the wood when it suddenly rang, ‘Count On Me’ blaring out of it and her breath caught. Blaine’s ringtone. She picked it up nervously and pressed accept, and then held it to her ear. “Hello?”  
“H-Hello, is this Rachel Berry?” An obviously nervous voice asked and she squeezed her eyes tight as tears ran down her face. She knew that voice, that voice that had intoned and harmonised and laughed and broke and lived alongside her for a few precious years. “Hello?”  
“Yes, this is Rachel. Is this Blaine?”  
A sigh rattled through the line and part of her wanted to reach out and pull him tight against her, part of her wanted to shake him. “Oh, you do know me. I got this number from…Sebastian? He gave me it after; uh Puck and Kurt ran off. I don’t know what’s going on, if this is some kind of practical joke. I don’t remember most of my life and I just wanted-“  
“He loved you,” She cut him off and the hiss of breath being sucked through teeth spurred her on. “We-we all did. You were our friend. Kurt loved you, he was going to marry you, you were in love and perfect and I don’t know why but one day you were gone and they said... We lost you and we loved you so much. If-if you wanted to see him again, he still loves you and-“  
“I have a boyfriend.” He cuts her off and now it’s her turn to suck her breath back in, as if she could suck the word back in and make them disappear, but instead she says something that deep in the night she’ll regret.  
“Well then, looks like your life worked out. Why bother ringing at all?” She hangs up as he’s calling her name and walks up the stairs, turning her phone off as it rings again.  
She knocks on the door on the right and opens the door. The walls are bare, painted a cream colour to reflect the guest bedroom it turned into in Kurt’s absence. “Have you talked to your dad?” She asks, crossing to the bed and sitting down next to a weary-looking Kurt.  
“No,” He whispers, his voice hoarse. “What would I say, Rachel? My dead fiancé isn’t actually dead and has a new life, remembers nothing of me or anything else? That his parents didn’t tell him he had a life?”  
“You really think his parents did this?” She asks, though she knows the answer, it’s the only thing that makes sense.  
“Somehow Blaine Anderson went into the hospital with loss of blood and never came out. His parents were there, the doctor was lying. Somehow he lost all his memories and turns up in Westerville. If his parents had told him, he would have come home to me.”  
She nods and lays her head on his shoulder, joining him in his silent grief as the last of the sun’s rays dip below the horizon and leave them in darkness.

“What did she say?”  
Blaine looks up; his hazel eyes pools of tears. “She said he was going to marry me. What the hell did I lose?”  
“Blaine you knew you had a life, seems it was better than you thought. Maybe if you met up with this Kurt, you might remember.”  
“You…you’d be okay with me meeting him?” Blaine stared dumbfounded at the man who’d helped him through horrible, painful years of knowing had a life but having nothing and had been the voice of reason he missed, though he didn’t know where from.  
Johnathon sat down and pressed his hand to Blaine’s clasped ones. “I came to terms with the fact that you had a life you didn’t remember a long time ago. I knew one day it would find itself back to you. Did you ever consider with your…various attributes that you’d be a perfect boyfriend to some young man with as many of the same attributes as you, that he’d have snapped you up as soon as possible, and that he missed you?”  
“Why didn’t he try to find me then?”  
Johnathon hummed then looked at him seriously. “Didn’t you say that this Rachel said they lost you? Maybe they didn’t know how to find you.”  
Blaine looked down and scrolled to the second number Sebastian had given him, looked at his boyfriend, then dialled.

Puck sat down at the table and looked around, then back at Blaine "so what's up?" He asked.  
Blaine smiled apprehensively, swirling the coffee in his cup before speaking. "Can...I'd like you to tell me about Kurt, but please don't tell him we spoke?"  
"Sure man," Puck replied easily. "Does your boyfriend know you're here?"  
Blaine blinked at him, he didn’t need to ask where he’d found out he had a boyfriend, but part of him hoped the news hadn’t gotten to Kurt yet. "Yes he does. He gets it and supports me knowing about Kurt."  
"What about after?"  
Blaine shrugs and shifts in his chair uncomfortably. "He knows I had a life before the accident and he cares about me. If I’m meant to be with. Kurt he hopes we can all be friends,"  
Puck snorted. "Must be pretty awesome to be ok with the idea of being friends after you leave him."  
"Yeah but according to Rachel, so is Kurt."  
"Fair enough. So what do you want to know?"  
Blaine shrugged. "Everything, his personality, why it worked between us, what kind of couple we were."  
"Okay, well Kurt is pretty awesome. He has his faults, everyone does but he's caring, loyal. He's ambitious, he once ran for student council president. So did you the next year. He's strong, but he's had to be. He's lost a lot in his life. He's an advocate for his and others rights and challenges people to be better. He almost died for it actually. He was walking and heard a gay bashing, tried to stop it and got bashed himself. He's supportive and loving, adored the hell out of you. You two were friends first, then together. It was a little sickening, all the heart eyes and sweetness. I kid, of course. You had your arguments, issues and stuff but you always seemed to be there for each other. You had your lives mapped out. It just sucks it all got lost."  
Blaine blinked back tears. It sounded like the relationship of his dreams. "So where was he? After my accident."  
Puck's face paled and he looked around again. "That's not my story to tell, dude. Ask your parents, ask Kurt but don't ask me, or Rachel."  
Blaine stared at him but let it go. "Do you have any pictures?"  
Puck grinned at that. "Yeah dude, I have all the pictures. Here." He scrolled through his phone and handed it over.  
Blaine blinked. There on the screen was him and Kurt, smiling happily at the camera. The next was another like it and as he scrolled, more and more. Some with others, some just them until he got to one that made him gasp and nearly drop the phone. On the screen was a patch of grass, the tips of shoes were visible around the edge of the picture but in the middle was a plaque with his own name on it. He looked at puck who grabbed the phone, swore and raced out of the shop, leaving Blaine there scared and shaken.  
He sat there for a few more minutes before getting up and going to his car, his mind whirring. Over the two years he'd dreamed about a love just like the one puck had described but always thought it was a dream. A need, not a reality, and now he knew why Kurt had never come for him. They thought he was dead. Rachel’s words came back to him, ‘we lost you’ and a voice spoke deep and rough in his head; ‘Why’d you do that to him?’ slams him into something that he’d thought were just dreams until four people drove into his life and ran him over.  
He watches as Kurt walks towards him, his eyes sparkling and they hug. He looks down at the bag he’d been carrying as Kurt takes the case and smile again at him. He takes his hand and whispers in his ear. “Finally you’re where you belong, with me. I love you.”  
He hears himself say he loves Kurt back and his vision clears. He looks around, tears leaking out of his eyes, backed up against his car, his butt on the gravel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Count on Me is by Bruno Mars: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJYXItns2ik


	4. Chapter 4

“I’ve done something stupid!” Puck shouts as he bursts through the door.  
Kurt looks up from the copy of Vogue he’d been showing Carole and frowns. “Stupider than usual?” He quips as Burt comes out of the living room and Rachel follows. Carole gives him a reproachful look and he blinks back at her.  
“Yes, actually. Umm how to put this…Kurt?” Puck flounders, looking at him pleadingly and coldness shifts in Kurt’s chest.  
“What did you do?” He demands and then slumps a little, turning to his dad. “Blaine’s alive.”  
Burt turns, looking at each of them and Carole reels back with a gasp. “What?”  
“We saw him the other day, well Puck did and I saw Sebastian at Scandals and he said he’d seen something and that the Andersons were acting weird. Yesterday we went to Dalton to meet Sebastian and he was there. Blaine, walking down the hallway, alive.” Kurt said, his voice sounding hollow and distant.  
Burt looks between them then straight at Puck. “And what did you do?”  
“He rang me. I met him at the Lima Bean and he wanted to know about Kurt. About their relationship and what Kurt was like. I let him look at photos but I kinda forgot his memorial one was in there.”  
“You what?” Kurt shrieks and the stool turns over as he stands. “He’s got no memories and you basically tell him we think he’s dead? Do you want to traumatise him?”  
Puck stares then doubles over in hysterical laughter. “Dude you’re still, like so protective of him.”  
“You’re so stupid,” Rachel whispers then bites her lip and they look at her. “But so am I. He phoned me last night before he phoned Puck. I told him how much you loved him and…I may have yelled at him, or told him he shouldn’t have phoned.” He tells Kurt quietly and cowers slightly under the glare he pins her with.  
Burt sighs and scrapes a hand over his head then grabs a roll of bin bags from the kitchen shelf. “Right, Kurt you come with me. You two can sit here and try not to say anything else.”  
“Yes Burt.” Both Puck and Rachel say, bowing their heads like chastised children and sit down on the sofa.  
Burt grabs his coat, then Kurt’s and shoves it at him. “Come on.” He says and nods to his wife, then leaves.

“You know, back when you were a kid I used to worry about how you’d react to another death, then Finn died and you were so strong. You broke just like the rest of us but you were like this quiet calm, looking after Carole and Blaine and Rachel first and I thought you’d be okay but then when Blaine died…I wish I’d been there for you kid.”  
“You’re here now; you always are when it matters.” Kurt replies in that voice he uses when he has nothing left to give.  
“Yeah but I thought I’d passed that baton on to Blaine, then when he died it was like, who now, you know?” Burt glances over at Kurt and his son nods.  
“I felt the same way when Finn died. He should have outlived his mom; he should have had a happy life with Rachel or whoever he was truly meant to be with. Carole had you, Blaine and I had each other and Rachel had…that’s it. That’s what I became and she tried so hard to be it for me after Blaine and she was but I wouldn’t let her. He isn’t dead though, dad.”  
“I know, kid but I got used to saying it. You know, it’s ironic. You can’t stop remembering and he can’t remember at all. Maybe if we opened up your head…” He trails off teasingly and for the first time in years, he hears his son laugh.  
“Just try it, old man,” Kurt jokes back and they grin at each other, then the smile slips off of Kurt’s face as he sees where they’re pulling up. “Dad? Why are we here?”  
Burt parks and opens the door, unbuckling and lumbering out of the car. “I always wanted to ask the Andersons what they thought they were doing. Now I can.”  
“Dad what are you going to do?” Kurt begs, scrambling after him up the driveway, the Anderson house looming over them.  
“Just talk.” Burt replies, smiling back at his son with a slightly evil smile.

The door is answered by a bored-looking Julia Anderson, whose jaw practically drops open on seeing Burt and Kurt, but she schools herself into the refined mask Kurt remembers from the times he’d gone to their house in high school and they’d been home. “Burt,” she pauses as she looks at Kurt, just long enough for him to see her nostrils flare. “Kurt. What do I owe this pleasure?”  
“Julia. I’d just like to know why there’s a plaque in my garden for someone who’s alive.” Burt says bluntly, ignoring Kurt’s scandalised squeak and her eyes bulging.  
From somewhere behind her Paul Anderson shouts. “Don’t leave guests on the doorstep, Julia!” She ushers them in and Blaine’s father looks them over as his mother speaks again.  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. The loss of poor Blaine was-“  
“He’s alive.” Kurt states and she glares at him.  
“You always were trouble for him. All those pretty fantasies you filled his head with. Blaine could have been a great lawyer, or a teacher. Not some…singer.” She spits out and Kurt’s eyes widen.  
“Is that why you never speak to your eldest son?”  
“Don’t you dare interfere-“ She growls but Burt cuts her off this time.  
“You interfered when you took Blaine home from the hospital and got a doctor to tell his fiancé and their friends that he was dead. How did you do it, Julia? Was he just not good enough so you reprogram your child like some computer?”  
“It wasn’t like that,” Paul snarls and both Hummel men look at him. “We went to see him after your son left. When he woke up he couldn’t remember a thing. He’d fallen against the toilet, the doctor said. Something about traumatic amnesia or something. We decided this could be the perfect fresh start for him, brought him home, paid the doctor to lie and gave him a new life, far away from you.”  
“Blaine will never be yours again.” Julia smirked coldly and Kurt felt the strong desire to hit her, or cry.  
“No.” Came a whisper from the doorway and all four heads snapped to see Blaine, his mouth dropped open, his face as white as a sheet.  
“Blaine, baby.” Julia started, recovering easily and got up to go over to him. She started to take his arm but he wrenched away from her, the shock replaced with a look of fury.  
“No! I’m not your baby! How could you do this to me? How could you take my life away? His life away?” He pointed over at Kurt. “Everything I’ve heard from his friends is that he loved me, adored me, cared for me when no-one else did. How could you take that away from me and look at him like he’s dirt?”  
How dare you talk to your parents-“  
“How dare you change your son!” Blaine roars back at his father then winces and slumps against the wall. In his mind he and Kurt are lying on his bed, their fingers linked and smiling softly at each other. Afterglow. He opens his eyes to see Kurt crouched over him and he takes his hand, letting him help him stand. “Let me come with you.” He begs and Kurt nods, pulling him out of the door. Out of the corner of his eye he sees the other man who must be Kurt’s father take out a roll of trash bags and tell his parents to let him take his things or he’ll call the police.


	5. Chapter 5

They get back to a nice, moderate sized house and a feeling of familiarity and warmth washes over him. He walks inside and stops at the sight of Rachel and Puck and another woman he feels like he knows. She steps towards him and his breath catches and without a second thought he bolts up the stairs and runs into the room on the right, slamming the door.  
“Well, that was surprising.” Burt mutters and walks off to bring Blaine’s bags in.  
After Kurt tells Rachel, Puck and Carole about the visit to the Andersons, filling them in on the reasons why Blaine has no memories and why he’s here he walks up the stairs and knocks on the door. “Blaine?” He calls softly, opening the door and slipping through.  
A sniffle drifts over from the bed where the young man sits, curled up on the bed, his chin on his knees and tears slowly slipping down his face. Kurt sits down and he looks at him, his wide hazel eyes heartbroken and lost. “I wish I remembered you. I wish I could remember them. How could my parents do that? Were they like that before? Horrible people?”  
“Pretty much,” Kurt shrugs. “You told me they grew distant since you came out and every time I saw them they didn’t…they didn’t approve of us, of what we were. We spent a lot of time here. Actually that’s how I know that your memories aren’t completely gone.”  
“How?”  
“This is my room.” Kurt smirks and nods as Blaine’s mouth drops open.  
“Why doesn’t it look like your room?” He asks looking around.  
Kurt shrugs. “I haven’t been back here since the…sorry but since the memorial. I might have found you sooner if I had. None of our friends and most of their families live here anymore. They all had bigger dreams, just like you and my parents use this as a guest bedroom.”  
“Oh,” Blaine whispers and he takes Kurt’s hand in his, looking at him like he’s trying to memorise the way the skin looks, imagining how it looked wrapped around his. “I used to have these dreams, just little snapshots or feelings. In my dreams I felt loved, cared for. I had long talks and laughter and arguments and passion with this faceless, nameless person and our faceless, nameless friends. I’m starting to think that they weren’t dreams. What…what was I like? What were these bigger dreams I had?”  
Kurt chuckles a little and pulls him closer so that they’re facing each other and another wave of feeling hits Blaine. He’s stared into those eyes a lot. “You were my best friend. We met when I went to spy on your show choir. You used to go to Dalton and I used to go to McKinley. I was in the rival show choir to yours and Puck actually, he suggested I went to spy and we met, chatted and became friends, then over time became boyfriends. You were…compassionate, confident about some things but insecure about others, you were loyal and loving, caring and you had a beautiful soul that I just wanted to hold and love forever,” At that he bursts into tears and lets Blaine hold him. He sniffles then carries on. “You wanted to be a performer. I did too. We were going to take the world by storm. Kurt and Blaine Anderson-Hummel. You’d sing your feelings. You were so passionate. I stood on a table when you auditioned for NYADA and told you how incredibly you’d sung and played and how all our dreams would come true.”  
“W-Wait that’s real? That happened?” Blaine asked and Kurt nodded. “What about…something about birds and trust?”  
“Oh, we’d argued about hiding things, you tend to try to protect me and sometimes that led to hiding things and I told you that trust was a choice and that we, like birds, have to trust that we won’t hit the ground, that the person we trust won’t let us fall.”  
Kurt leans away and Blaine raises his eyebrow. “I sound like I make really bad choices.”  
Kurt shrugs. “Only sometimes. You were young, we both were. You were kind of impetuous and made big statements. You just tried to do your best.”  
“Now I sound like an idiot.” He grumbles but looks at Kurt as he chuckles, another feeling of remembrance washing over him.  
“You were a dork. A sweet, silly, crazy, brave dork.”  
“Okay I don’t sound so bad.” Blaine accepted, nudging Kurt and their giggles drifted out into the hall where Burt stood, happy tears rolling down his face.

“Do you have a job, Blaine dear?” Carole asked the next morning and Blaine shook his head.   
“I help out the Warblers sometimes but my parents said it wasn’t wise for me to work with no actual skills, or at least any memory of them.” He replied and his lips twitched as she snorted indelicately.  
“And how do you feel about that piano over there?” She asked, motioning with her elbow to the piano in the music room.  
“I want to play it.” He replied honestly and she smiled at him.  
“There’s your skill, Blaine. That and that voice of yours,” She said softly then called out. “Breakfast!”  
Blaine noticed Rachel coming to the bottom of the stairs and watched her perk up then turn and scream back up the stairs.   
“Breakfast! Hey!”  
Two pairs of feet rumbled down the stairs, Kurt laughing at her and Puck cursing under his breath and Blaine leaned back, impressed. “God I love your style.”  
“She hails cabs the same way.” Kurt quipped and they grinned at each other.  
“So, plans for today?” Puck asked, settling into his seat and Blaine shrugged.  
“I need to talk to…” His voice trailed off and he looked at Kurt who looked down at his food. Oh, he knew. “Um, then I need to…wander, I guess. Try to remember things. I honestly don’t know. So, um what do you three do? Where do you live now?”  
“Well, I’m an actress. I live in Hollywood with Kurt. Kurt works for Vogue LA and wants to be a designer and-“  
“You know what you sound like, Berry? You sound like a freaking advert.” Puck griped and Rachel gasped at him outraged.  
“Well I suppose you’d do better, wingman?”  
“You’re such a diva sometimes, Berry.”  
“Is that supposed to be an insult?”  
“Are they usually like this?” Blaine asked and Kurt nodded.  
“See? We’re giving him a bad view of us, really Puckerman.”  
“He’s not three, Berry. Sorry man, I guess you don’t remember what we’re like.”  
“I,” Blaine cut himself off then started again. “I remember you bickering. I remember your friendship too.”  
“My man!” Puck shouted cheerfully and leaned over to fist-bump. Blaine fist-bumped then stared at his hand. It had felt natural, like he’d done it before. With someone else too.  
“Who’s Sam?” He asked and Kurt’s eyes lit up.  
“Oh my gosh I have to ring him! He’s going to be so happy. You and he were like frat brothers, it was ridiculous. You read him comic books and hung out with him and he watched sports with you and had conversations about random, geeky things.” Kurt gushed and Blaine smiled. Kurt grabbed his phone and scrolled to a picture of a blond man with big lips and a sweet smile.  
“He seems fun,” He said and handed back the phone. “What do you do, Puck?”   
Puck glanced at Kurt then patted his chest. “I’m in the Air Force, man.”  
“Really? Wow. You don’t seem like-“  
“Blaine did you want a lift to…um what’s his name’s place?” Rachel cut him off and Blaine looked between them, confused.   
“Sure. See you later.” He said, sharing an awkward smile with Kurt and hurrying after Rachel.


	6. Chapter 6

“I’m sorry about what I said the other night.” Rachel said quietly and Blaine looked over. He could understand it. From what she and Puck had said and he’d seen from Kurt, theirs was a loving, intense relationship and they were protective. He hoped he’d remember them soon, and then maybe they’d be protective of him too.  
“It’s okay. I get it, Kurt is pretty special.” He said and she smiled at him.  
“Do you know what you’re going to say to him?” She asked and he shook his head.  
“We talked about this but honestly? Put into practice it’s different. He helped me through a lot.”  
“So did Kurt,” She mumbled then gasped. “Sorry. I kind of do that a lot.”  
“It’s okay.”  
They got to the apartment with his directions and walked up the steps, then to the apartment door. Before Blaine could knock the door opened. A handsome, tall man with dark eyes and tanned skin stepped out, looked at him and froze, then walked away hurriedly.  
Blaine let himself in, leaving Rachel outside and walked into the kitchen. He looked around, the usually slightly messy apartment was spotless and he frowned. Johnathon walked out of the bathroom and stopped when he saw Blaine. “Uh, hey. I didn’t expect you.”  
“Clearly.” Blaine replied, crossing his arms over his chest and Johnathon sagged.  
“Before you yell, hear me out, please.”  
“Sure, tell me why I just saw someone who is clearly the older, taller version of me walk out of here.”  
Johnathon scoffed and looked at him. “He’s not a version of you, Blaine. Sure, there are similarities and he is a good guy, just like you. Look, after I met you I realised that you had a life, someone who loved you somewhere out there and someday he’d come back to claim you, take you home and you’d be happy, you’d remember and this would be secondary to you. He…He was insurance. I met him about four months ago after you started really having dreams about your life. And I needed to protect myself, to help you and then when the time came and you left, I’d have him.”  
“So you found yourself someone to take over once I’m gone? Is that why you were so okay with this? Why you and I haven’t…y’know, in so long?”  
“Pretty much.” Johnathon stated and Blaine blinked, looking around. He’d never felt at home here, always like a visitor. He felt more for Kurt in a few hours than he had for Johnathon in their nearly one and a half year relationship.  
He took a deep breath and thought, and then walked up to the other man. “Then I hope that he treats you well. You deserve it.”  
“Blaine…” Johnathon choked out, his blue eyes filling with tears.  
Blaine reached out and they hugged tight. He felt nothing but a yearning to be back at the house where Kurt was, probably worrying about him. “Thank you for everything. Have a good life, Jon.”  
“You too Blaine,” The older man whispered and they smiled at each other. “Will I see you around?”  
Blaine stepped backwards and a smile stretched across his face, thinking of everything Kurt had told him. “You might hear about me.” He said wryly then stepped back again. His foot tangled around something on the floor and he heard Johnathon yell as he slammed to the ground.  
“Blaine? Blaine?” He heard with Johnathon and Rachel’s voices as he opened his eyes and he looked up at them.  
“Wha…oh my God!” He yelped stumbling up.  
“What? What?” They asked, reaching out for him to help if he needed steadying or if he fell again.  
Blaine looked over at the mirror across the room and took himself in, then looked over at them. “I remember everything.”

Blaine ran up the driveway, his heart soaring in his chest. When Kurt opened up the door he nearly yelled at him. “Where is it?”  
Kurt gaped at him, confused. “Where’s what?” He asked. Blaine saw Burt, Carole and Puck gathering behind Kurt and huffed, and then it occurred to him. He reached into Kurt’s shirt, ignoring the shriek from Kurt and grabbed the chain, slipping it over Kurt’s head and took the rings off, then went down on one knee in front of his startled once-fiancé.  
“Kurt Hummel, my amazing friend, my one true love, Will you marry me?”  
Kurt gasped, tears flooding his eyes and nodded. “Yeah, yes.” Blaine stood and checked the ring and slipped the right one on his old, and new, fiancé’s finger.  
“Does that mean he remembers?” Puck asked and Blaine nodded before he leaned forward and kissed Kurt, all of his memories finally clicked back into place.

Five years later

“Kurt Hummel released his new line this week after incredibly successful walks at all of the fashions weeks. He’s really proved himself to be one of fashions up and coming designers with all walks of life clamouring for his designs. From celebrities to normal people he seems to have made fans of everyone. One celebrity in particular is a huge fan, and has modelled some of his line, as well as his previous one. Blaine Hummel, the popstar whose rise to fame has been as quick as his husband’s. The two met in high school and became high school sweethearts but their story isn’t without some Hollywood drama. After an accident that left Blaine with no memories; one that neither has ever given details about. Kurt moved to Los Angles with his friend, now the award winning actress Rachel Berry but after a visit back home realised that Blaine was very much alive. After meeting and talking Blaine soon regained his memories, came to LA to be with Kurt, got signed to a record company and the rest as they say, is history. A Hollywood ending if ever there was one.”

“Is it ever surreal, Blaine? After everything that happened?”  
“You mean after losing all my memories, then getting them back did I think I’d ever be here, married, an award winning recording artist with a beautiful designer husband who creates art with his fashion and being interviewed by you, dear Ellen?”  
“Pretty much, yes.”  
“Nah. It felt like coming back home, where I belong.”


End file.
